The Journey Begins…

Well, hello there 🙂

How are you? I suppose I’d better introduce myself. I’m Martha – Or Martha Roberta Shitapple to give me my full title, and I’m a Tranny (Or Transgender Woman for those who are feeling Politically Correct). For the uninitiated; that means that I’m taking the journey from a living, breathing, one-track-mind human male to becoming a fully functioning member of the female elite. In my mind I definitely chose the better option, although there are those who would disagree…

Now you see, I never knew I was a Tranny (and I don’t use that term in a derogatory fashion, I really don’t). I honestly and truthfully can say that I never knew the truth about myself, on grandmothers grave I didn’t know. But suffice to say, it came as rather a shock when I actually worked it out – And shock being an extremely mild form of the expletive I used when the doctor actually told me. The real verbs are not for public consumption and my doctor still reminds me of them, to this day.

OK, well, how come I never knew when all the rest of the Trans community say they knew all along? Well I just didn’t – I hadn’t worked it out. In all honesty; and to save any embarrassment, I’d been too busy with my head stuck in-front of a computer screen to be bothered to work it out. And when it wasn’t stuck in-front of a screen, then my other head (guys, the one between your legs) was usually in control of the proceedings and wouldn’t let me work it out.

OK here’s the deal, you know they say the human male thinks about sex every seven seconds (on average), yeah? Well in my case it was probably closer to four and a half, on a typical day, when I didn’t have a horn on. Yeah, that damned thing down there would not shut up. I mean, if I hadn’t discovered computers when I was eleven years old and became complete and total geek; I could have ended up on the register easily enough, especially with the amount of times a day the damned thing kept raising it’s head.

Thank whatever religious deity you choose that that never happened…

What did happen, is that it gave me an interesting past – With an interesting story-line and, from the look of it, a VERY interesting future. You see, one of the things you learn, really quickly, is that you have to have a sense of humour in order to survive. You learn to crack off jokes like Billy Connelly on speed; in order to avoid situations that may cause the dreaded snake to become elongated – Yeah, I mean, as a man, you might think about sex every seven seconds but it’s NEVER a good idea to do something about it, every seven seconds; now is it? And you learn how to handle the various scenarios that will unfold when the trouser snake does make an unwelcome appearance (as in most social situations?). Yeah you get it. Laugh or cry, and if you cry, you die. And I didn’t want to die. No sir. Laugh it off it is.

Well that sense of humour is something I don’t, and never do want, to lose, it’s amazing to have. But that’s not a typical woman’s sense of humour; not a woman in her late forties – as far as I know. She’s usually grown out of that by now from what I’ve seen and she may be letting her hair down before the grandchildren take over but she will most definitely NOT be throwing out innuendo’s like they’re five pound notes from the money tree. Not unless your a Male to Female Transgender Woman, with attitude, who can’t quite let go of the old, male, persona?…

Grab a cup of tea and packet of biccies off the side over there, sit your backside down and I’ll tell you about the day this all started – The day the doctor broke the good news to me that I, Robert Kingsley, was about to become Martha, Roberta, Shitapple…

 

 

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